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From: mike at shawnuff.net (Mike Shaw) Subject: UTTER HORSESHIT: [was January 15 is Personal Firewall Day, help the cause] Personal Firewall! Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Personal Firewall. Caution: Personal Firewall may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. Personal Firewall Contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. Do not use Personal Firewall on concrete. Discontinue use of Personal Firewall if any of the following occurs: Itching Vertigo Dizziness Tingling in extremities Loss of balance or coordination Slurred speech Temporary blindness Profuse sweating Heart palpitations If Personal Firewall begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. Personal Firewall may stick to certain types of skin. When not in use, Personal Firewall should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration... Failure to do so relieves the makers of Personal Firewall, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability. Ingredients of Personal Firewall include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space. Personal Firewall has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq. Do not taunt Personal Firewall. Personal Firewall comes with a lifetime guarantee. Personal Firewall ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!
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