Network Working Group J. Evers Internet-Draft Bantown Consulting, Inc. Intended status: Standards Track November 2006 Expires: May 5, 2007 A Standard for the Transmission of IP Datagrams Using the Negro darknet.txt Status of this Memo This document is an Internet-Draft and is NOT offered in accordance with Section 10 of RFC 2026, and the author does not provide the IETF with any rights other than to publish as an Internet-Draft. Internet-Drafts are working documents of the Internet Engineering Task Force (IETF), its areas, and its working groups. Note that other groups may also distribute working documents as Internet- Drafts. Internet-Drafts are draft documents valid for a maximum of six months and may be updated, replaced, or obsoleted by other documents at any time. It is inappropriate to use Internet-Drafts as reference material or to cite them other than as "work in progress." The list of current Internet-Drafts can be accessed at http://www.ietf.org/ietf/1id-abstracts.txt. The list of Internet-Draft Shadow Directories can be accessed at http://www.ietf.org/shadow.html. This Internet-Draft will expire on May 5, 2007. Evers Expires May 5, 2007 [Page 1] Internet-Draft DarkNet November 2006 Abstract This document presents a novel new technique for the transmission of IP Datagrams using the dark-skinned Negroid race as a physical-layer transport. Table of Contents 1. Background . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ancho 2. Frame Encoding and Transmission . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ancho 2.1. Encryption and Encapsulation . . . . . . . . . . . . . ancho 2.2. Ready to Send . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ancho 2.3. Transmission . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ancho 2.4. Decoding . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ancho 3. Technical Notes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ancho 3.1. TTL . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ancho 3.2. NAT Traversal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ancho 4. Security Considerations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ancho 5. Normative References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ancho Author's Address . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0 Evers Expires May 5, 2007 [Page 2] Internet-Draft DarkNet November 2006 1. Background Since nearly the discovery of the dark-skinned Negroid race [Negro], the white man has found this race to be incalculably useful in many commercial endeavors from cotton picking to producing "hip" and "urban" music. It has come to the attention of the Authors that the time may be ripe to introduce a viable new system of transmitting Internet Protocol Datagrams using this hardy and industrious race of dark-skinned commodity. Evers Expires May 5, 2007 [Page 3] Internet-Draft DarkNet November 2006 2. Frame Encoding and Transmission Sending a Datagram using a Negro is a complicated business, and it may place considerable strain on systems not accustomed to dealing with large amounts of Negroes, particularly at institutions of higher education, polite society and Libraries. There are multiple steps which must be taken to encode and prepare the Datagram for transmission, which are as follows. 2.1. Encryption and Encapsulation Firstly, to prepare the IP Datagram for transmission, it must be encoded so as to provide end-to-end encryption of the contents of the data. To encode the datagram, simply have it bound into a story- book. This simple transformation will leave the Negro clueless as to its contents, and it will be disinclined to scan its pages as Negroes have a well-known natural dislike for books. While the authors acknowledge that the book-binding time increases the latency of transmission, they contend that it is necessary to provide the highest level of security and it necessary to fully utilize all aspects of the Negroid, much as the Red-man once utilized all the parts of the Buffalo and White man. Evers Expires May 5, 2007 [Page 4] Internet-Draft DarkNet November 2006 The Negro, baffled by the bound novel ___ ___ ___ |__ \|__ \|__ \ ) | ) | ) | / / / / / / |_| |_| |_| (_) (_) (_) --------- ///#########\\\ /##########00###\ /###########00####\ /###################| |#####################| |#####################| |##############00000000 |#############00 00 |############0000000000 \#################/ \###############/ ---\ \\\#########/// ----- \ --------- ---- \ | \ \ | \ \ | ----\ BOOK \ +----- \ \ | \ \ | ---\ \\ | ------ \ --- +--- \ --- | \ --- | --- | | | /\ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ The primitive brain cannot understand the contents of the encrypted Datagram. Evers Expires May 5, 2007 [Page 5] Internet-Draft DarkNet November 2006 Figure 1 2.2. Ready to Send Once the bound volume is produced, a Negro must be found to entrust with the volume. There are many ways of attracting Negroes, some common mechanisms are: announcing that "welfare checks" are ready, purveying crack cocaine, playing "hip" and "urban music" or laying out fried chicken. Once you have attracted the Negroes attention, promise him a fortified wine if he simply delivers the volume to the desired location. 2.3. Transmission Once the Negro has been entrusted with the volume containing the Datagram, it must be sent on its with, ideally with a watermelon to fortify its strength. It may be noted that the transmission time can vary greatly due to variables intrinsic to the Negro such as loose pants inhibiting movement, drunkenness, crack cocaine, parole officers or parenthood. Simply point the Negro in the direction you wish it to travel, inform it that its destination is the nearest welfare office, hand it a watermelon for optimization and send it on its way. 2.4. Decoding To decode the Datagram, simple remove the book from the Negro and transfer the contents of its pages into the computer by whatever means deemed advisable. Evers Expires May 5, 2007 [Page 6] Internet-Draft DarkNet November 2006 3. Technical Notes 3.1. TTL A generally reasonable TTL value for the Negro is approx. 30 years, give or take a few due to a number of factors such as propensity towards menthol cigarettes, crack cocaine consumption and gang affiliations. 3.2. NAT Traversal One advantage of using the Negro as a physical-link layer is that it contains built-in support for NAT traversal for higher-level layer protocols. As is well-known, the Negro has a natural talent for criminal sub-human acts such as breaking and entering, which is a useful option that can be set with the JUVIE flag. This will enable the Negro to bypass whatever routing mechanisms may be in place and deliver the Datagram to its destination no matter what NAT is in place. Evers Expires May 5, 2007 [Page 7] Internet-Draft DarkNet November 2006 4. Security Considerations It is worth noting that the Negro's baser instincts can overwhelm it at times, provoking erratic behavior that can lead to a loss of data. Some examples of this would be selling the book to pay for its baby's momma's garments, burning the volume for warmth or trying to smoke the volume. If there is an error in transmission the process must be repeated. Errors in transmission are easy to detect because the Negro will invariably arrive at what it believes the welfare center, and it will become quite obvious that the volume was lost in transmission. The downside is that the Negro may forego appearing at the destination until the first of the month, creating a possible latency of up to a month. Also consideration should be given to what is called the "Negro-in- the-middle" attack. This may be avoided using techniques described in RFC3069 ("A Description of Negro Error Correction - The Prison System"). Evers Expires May 5, 2007 [Page 8] Internet-Draft DarkNet November 2006 5. Normative References [Negro] Encyclopedia Dramatica, "Negro Encyclopedia Entry", .