Date: Sun, 20 May 2007 19:47:59 -0400
From: "Steve Ragan" <sragan@...y.rr.com>
To: <full-disclosure@...ts.grok.org.uk>
Subject: Re: iDEFENSE VCP Challenge and botnet technologies

Wow
What is with all the junk mail over the last few days on the list?  

-----Original Message-----
From: full-disclosure-bounces@...ts.grok.org.uk
[mailto:full-disclosure-bounces@...ts.grok.org.uk] On Behalf Of
larry@...ryseltzer.net
Sent: Sunday, May 20, 2007 7:16 PM
To: full-disclosure@...ts.grok.org.uk
Subject: [Full-disclosure] iDEFENSE VCP Challenge and botnet technologies

Good evening list members,

Here is Larry Seltzer, your beloved on-field journalist reporting about the
latest iDEFENSE challenge. An internal source who wishes to remain
anonymous, provided information about possible bankruptcy of the VA-based
"cyberintelligence" company, which offers monetary rewards for exploits,
vulnerability information (Cross Site Scripting, LD_PRELOAD mis-use and VCP
member list leakage issues).

The confidential information shows certain inconsistencies in the financial
department, possibly caused by the increasing money laundering crime from
eGold and the other payment methods they accept. Anonymous sources comment
that the company could be investing in "pleasing slave Russian wifes" since
December of past year, with the departure of Richard Johnson and Pedram
Amini (working at Microsoft and 3Com's ZDI, respectively). The remaining
employees are known to have leaked CANVAS exploits as their own, causing
major struggle in the Miami-based basement of the ImmunitySec team (which I
hate so much, due to my affiliations with Matasano and some old @Stake
people).

This all might be the cause for the low prices offered by the continuous VCP
challenges that the company launches on quarterly basis. The current one,
offering as much as 16K USD dollars for flaws in OpenSSH, Apache, etc.

Security experts from all over the world, consider the price value fair
after rumors of potential pre-authentication flaws in the listed
applications. Possible reasons include the retirement of GOBBLES Security,
the groundbreaking revelations of the well known Dr. Neal Krawetz, the
relaunch of SNOSOFT or even the raising of a new neo-luddite terrorist
organization known as The Rogue Parrot Squadron, which could be linked to
the tsunami disasters and 11th September.

The FBI is reportedly investigating a security compromise of the systems
used by the Gibson Research Corporation to host and sponsor the OpenBSD
project, after DARPA stopped their funding (due to Theo De Raadt's comments
to a Calgary based publication, regarding the War on Terror and gay
marriages involving parrot sex and plastic surgery). This could be connected
to the aforementioned underground neo-luddite organizations as well as the
mysterious Internet identity known as n3td3v or it's counterpart, v3dt3n.

In a conference call with Gandhi Evron, details about unsuspected botnets
taking over control of Israeli nuclear facilities have been made available.
A crack commando lead by Gandhi (who showed up in boxing gloves and elastic
pants) managed to destroy an Iranian building complex used to conduct Denial
of Service attacks against str0ke's private IRC intelligence service. Other
sources confirm the compromise of individuals connected to the kidnapping of
the world most well known whitehat expert, Andre Protas, who still works at
eEye and obtains IDA Pro bulk licenses (albeit Ilfak Guilfanov publicly
refuses to support him) for the now infamous CRACKlab.ru

Similar conditions seem to surround GOBBLES Security operatives, after they
were forced out of retirement by the Krawetz HackerFactor gang (in
retardement since circa 100 years ago). Anonymous sources agree that this
message will be flagged as 'Made in GOBBLES, 100% Mighty Turkey meat' by the
well known Doctor.

Rumors say he will soon move to a remote, lone Island in the middle of
nowhere, to create a new race portraying thick nerdy glasses, fat faces and
a desperate need of publishing utterly scientifically-flawed crap in
security conferences, forums, blogs and Ranum's podcast.

Finally, Matasano LLC., managed to make a world out of a single Quicktime
exploit. This crack commando, known for bashing the LMH/IPU identity (known
to be a group of desperate gangsters willing to do real mayhem over
whitehats' wifes) arguing "they are publicity stunts". Drugs must be
working, meds still in pharmacy. Anonymous sources comment that this
desperate move for publicity might be a sign of serious financial problems
in the consulting firm, which is being managed by a real moron from
outer-space, Thomas P-ee-tacek (phonetic emphasis is mine). Known for
publishing an IDS evasion paper circa 10 years ago, he possesses strong
management skills, as well as a talent for pissing off the wrong people. He
also forgot that IDS evasion is more than your own version of 'hping'. They
were also stupid enough for getting as much as 10K USD from the ZDI, when
they could have sold it to iDEFENSE for a higher value and fingerprinting.
The consulting firm denied negotiations with Apple Computer Inc. for a
possible Leopard-related contract, which could explain the absolute lameness
and faggotry shown in all the public mentions of the Cupertino-based
manufacturer as "pleasing to work with, absolutely reliable and honest,
smooth and tight as the ass of a 7-year old".

Shall the world end in major struggle, fire and massive ruckuz, your beloved
journalist-on-field, Larry Seltzer, will continue to bring unbiased news
reports and save the world from evil h4x0r forces utilizing the giant
honeypot force, completely controlled by him.
Nothing will stop him from getting the job done. No fear, no pain.
Sacrifice and hard work. Drugs and heavy attention deficit disorder.
The Great Asperger Army. Nothing, absolutely nothing will stop him.
Ever.

Regards and kisses,
Larry Seltzer - reporting from the outer space.

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7:54 AM

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Full-Disclosure - We believe in it.
Charter: http://lists.grok.org.uk/full-disclosure-charter.html
Hosted and sponsored by Secunia - http://secunia.com/

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