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Message-ID: <C1F4D9B5.18317%simon@snosoft.com>
Date: Sun, 11 Feb 2007 14:33:25 -0500
From: Simon Smith <simon@...soft.com>
To: Pedro Martinez <pedromartinezlovesthebantown@...oo.com>,
Untitled <full-disclosure@...ts.grok.org.uk>
Subject: Re: New Transport Protocol RFC - Darknet
The fact that you actually have the time in your day to write such trash
clearly demonstrates that you have no social life. It must really suck to be
a friendless loser. I truly feel bad for you.
On 2/10/07 3:56 PM, "Pedro Martinez"
<pedromartinezlovesthebantown@...oo.com> wrote:
> Darknet is a next generation black-hat data transport
> protocol. This is an RFC Proposal.
>
>
>
> ______________________________________________________________________________
> ______
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>
> Network Working Group J. Evers
> Internet-Draft Bantown Consulting, Inc.
> Intended status: Standards Track November 2006
> Expires: May 5, 2007
>
>
> A Standard for the Transmission of IP Datagrams Using the Negro
> darknet.txt
>
> Status of this Memo
>
> This document is an Internet-Draft and is NOT offered in accordance
> with Section 10 of RFC 2026, and the author does not provide the IETF
> with any rights other than to publish as an Internet-Draft.
>
> Internet-Drafts are working documents of the Internet Engineering
> Task Force (IETF), its areas, and its working groups. Note that
> other groups may also distribute working documents as Internet-
> Drafts.
>
> Internet-Drafts are draft documents valid for a maximum of six months
> and may be updated, replaced, or obsoleted by other documents at any
> time. It is inappropriate to use Internet-Drafts as reference
> material or to cite them other than as "work in progress."
>
> The list of current Internet-Drafts can be accessed at
> http://www.ietf.org/ietf/1id-abstracts.txt.
>
> The list of Internet-Draft Shadow Directories can be accessed at
> http://www.ietf.org/shadow.html.
>
> This Internet-Draft will expire on May 5, 2007.
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> Evers Expires May 5, 2007 [Page 1]
> .
> Internet-Draft DarkNet November 2006
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> Abstract
>
> This document presents a novel new technique for the transmission of
> IP Datagrams using the dark-skinned Negroid race as a physical-layer
> transport.
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> Table of Contents
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> 1. Background . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ancho
> 2. Frame Encoding and Transmission . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ancho
> 2.1. Encryption and Encapsulation . . . . . . . . . . . . . ancho
> 2.2. Ready to Send . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ancho
> 2.3. Transmission . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ancho
> 2.4. Decoding . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ancho
> 3. Technical Notes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ancho
> 3.1. TTL . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ancho
> 3.2. NAT Traversal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ancho
> 4. Security Considerations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ancho
> 5. Normative References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ancho
> Author's Address . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0
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> Evers Expires May 5, 2007 [Page 2]
> .
> Internet-Draft DarkNet November 2006
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> 1. Background
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> Since nearly the discovery of the dark-skinned Negroid race [Negro],
> the white man has found this race to be incalculably useful in many
> commercial endeavors from cotton picking to producing "hip" and
> "urban" music. It has come to the attention of the Authors that the
> time may be ripe to introduce a viable new system of transmitting
> Internet Protocol Datagrams using this hardy and industrious race of
> dark-skinned commodity.
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> Evers Expires May 5, 2007 [Page 3]
> .
> Internet-Draft DarkNet November 2006
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> 2. Frame Encoding and Transmission
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> Sending a Datagram using a Negro is a complicated business, and it
> may place considerable strain on systems not accustomed to dealing
> with large amounts of Negroes, particularly at institutions of higher
> education, polite society and Libraries. There are multiple steps
> which must be taken to encode and prepare the Datagram for
> transmission, which are as follows.
>
> 2.1. Encryption and Encapsulation
>
> Firstly, to prepare the IP Datagram for transmission, it must be
> encoded so as to provide end-to-end encryption of the contents of the
> data. To encode the datagram, simply have it bound into a story-
> book. This simple transformation will leave the Negro clueless as to
> its contents, and it will be disinclined to scan its pages as Negroes
> have a well-known natural dislike for books. While the authors
> acknowledge that the book-binding time increases the latency of
> transmission, they contend that it is necessary to provide the
> highest level of security and it necessary to fully utilize all
> aspects of the Negroid, much as the Red-man once utilized all the
> parts of the Buffalo and White man.
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> Evers Expires May 5, 2007 [Page 4]
> .
> Internet-Draft DarkNet November 2006
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> The Negro, baffled by the bound novel
>
> ___ ___ ___
> |__ \|__ \|__ \
> ) | ) | ) |
> / / / / / /
> |_| |_| |_|
> (_) (_) (_)
>
> ---------
> ///#########\\\
> /##########00###\
> /###########00####\
> /###################|
> |#####################|
> |#####################|
> |##############00000000
> |#############00 00
> |############0000000000
> \#################/
> \###############/ ---\
> \\\#########/// ----- \
> --------- ---- \
> | \ \
> | \ \
> | ----\ BOOK \
> +----- \ \
> | \ \
> | ---\ \\
> | ------ \ ---
> +--- \ ---
> | \ ---
> | ---
> |
> |
> |
> /\
> / \
> / \
> / \
> / \
> / \
> / \
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> The primitive brain cannot understand the contents of the encrypted
> Datagram.
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> Evers Expires May 5, 2007 [Page 5]
> .
> Internet-Draft DarkNet November 2006
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> Figure 1
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> 2.2. Ready to Send
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> Once the bound volume is produced, a Negro must be found to entrust
> with the volume. There are many ways of attracting Negroes, some
> common mechanisms are: announcing that "welfare checks" are ready,
> purveying crack cocaine, playing "hip" and "urban music" or laying
> out fried chicken. Once you have attracted the Negroes attention,
> promise him a fortified wine if he simply delivers the volume to the
> desired location.
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> 2.3. Transmission
>
> Once the Negro has been entrusted with the volume containing the
> Datagram, it must be sent on its with, ideally with a watermelon to
> fortify its strength. It may be noted that the transmission time can
> vary greatly due to variables intrinsic to the Negro such as loose
> pants inhibiting movement, drunkenness, crack cocaine, parole
> officers or parenthood.
>
> Simply point the Negro in the direction you wish it to travel, inform
> it that its destination is the nearest welfare office, hand it a
> watermelon for optimization and send it on its way.
>
> 2.4. Decoding
>
> To decode the Datagram, simple remove the book from the Negro and
> transfer the contents of its pages into the computer by whatever
> means deemed advisable.
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> Evers Expires May 5, 2007 [Page 6]
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> Internet-Draft DarkNet November 2006
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> 3. Technical Notes
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> 3.1. TTL
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> A generally reasonable TTL value for the Negro is approx. 30 years,
> give or take a few due to a number of factors such as propensity
> towards menthol cigarettes, crack cocaine consumption and gang
> affiliations.
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> 3.2. NAT Traversal
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> One advantage of using the Negro as a physical-link layer is that it
> contains built-in support for NAT traversal for higher-level layer
> protocols. As is well-known, the Negro has a natural talent for
> criminal sub-human acts such as breaking and entering, which is a
> useful option that can be set with the JUVIE flag. This will enable
> the Negro to bypass whatever routing mechanisms may be in place and
> deliver the Datagram to its destination no matter what NAT is in
> place.
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> Evers Expires May 5, 2007 [Page 7]
> .
> Internet-Draft DarkNet November 2006
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> 4. Security Considerations
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> It is worth noting that the Negro's baser instincts can overwhelm it
> at times, provoking erratic behavior that can lead to a loss of data.
> Some examples of this would be selling the book to pay for its baby's
> momma's garments, burning the volume for warmth or trying to smoke
> the volume. If there is an error in transmission the process must be
> repeated. Errors in transmission are easy to detect because the
> Negro will invariably arrive at what it believes the welfare center,
> and it will become quite obvious that the volume was lost in
> transmission. The downside is that the Negro may forego appearing at
> the destination until the first of the month, creating a possible
> latency of up to a month.
>
> Also consideration should be given to what is called the "Negro-in-
> the-middle" attack. This may be avoided using techniques described
> in RFC3069 ("A Description of Negro Error Correction - The Prison
> System").
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> Evers Expires May 5, 2007 [Page 8]
> .
> Internet-Draft DarkNet November 2006
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> 5. Normative References
>
> [Negro] Encyclopedia Dramatica, "Negro Encyclopedia Entry",
> <http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/Nigger_manual>.
> _______________________________________________
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