Message-ID: <20040709205824.GA7188@bozorky.foofus.net>
From: foofus at foofus.net (Mr. Rufus Faloofus)
Subject: COFFEE WARS 5 (@ DefCon 12) Call to Action!

Grab your filters and fire up your percolators!  This one is going
to be big.  Sources have intercepted the following transmission:

           *** call for entries : cOfFeEwArS.5
           NOWHE ARTHI S!NOW PAYAT TENTI ON!TH
           ISMES SAGES ERVES ASTHE OFFIC IALNO
           TIFIC ATION OFADE CLARA TIONO OFHOS
           TILIT IESBE TWEEN COFFE ELOVI NGHAC
           KERS. ONFRI DAY30 JULY2 004IN LASVE
           GASAT DEFCO N12,W ESHAL LCOND UCTCO
           FFEEW ARS5. COMBA TANTS SHALL BRING
           THEIR BEANS FORJU DGEME NTAND VOTIN 
           G.THA TISAL L.--C OFEEW WARST TAFF.
           *** call for entries : cOfFeEwArS.5

Therefore, let it be known: the CoffeeWars 5 CFB (Call for Beans)
is now open.  For the fifth year, coffee-loving hackers will gather
at DefCon, bringing their finest coffee beans, and submitting them
for judgment by a panel of enthusiastic and jumpy experts.

The time: 30 July 2004
          10:00AM 

The place: Athena Room
           DefCon 12 
           Alexis Park Hotel
           Las Vegas, NV
           USA
           North America
           Western Hemisphere
           the Earth
           the Solar System
           the Universe
           the Mind of God

Go ahead and feel smug if you caught that reference.

On the morning of the first day of the con, the coffees of the 
hacker world shall be gathered.  Each shall be placed forward by 
its champion, and each shall be judged on its merits.  Verdicts 
shall be impartial, and without mercy.

       --==< Do not panic.  Do not attempt to flee. >==--

Please move toward the contest in an orderly manner.  Be advised
of the following restrictions:

1: ONLY WHOLE BEANS.  Nothing other than beans can be entered.  
   If you try to give us something that is not beans for an entry, 
   it will not be accepted.  No pre-ground stuff.  No crystals.  
   Beans only, please.

2: ONLY UNFLAVORED COFFEE.  Nothing with any flavor additives can
   be entered.  We are judging the quality of coffee, not culinary
   or chemical skill.  Bean + Roasting = Entry.  Things with 
   additional ingredients will be disqualified.

3: ONLY SUBMIT ENTRIES.  Do not submit questions to us about where
   other events are taking place, who is in charge of this or that
   thing, how to register for the con, or any other non-coffee
   items.  We are here to accept your beans, and to issue judgment.

4: NO FREAKING DECAF.  Seriously.  The end.

As always, judgments of the staff are final.  Under the influence
of enough coffee, these decisions may appear arbitrary, cruel, or
irrational.  This is why they call it a Coffee War: casualties are
to be expected.

You like coffee?  So do we.  You think your coffee is good?  Put 
it side by side with the best DefCon has to offer, and find out.

Don't blow it, kiddo.  Be there.  With beans, and a good attitude.
The CoffeeWars staff awaits the chance to determine whether or not
your coffee is the very finest in the whole wide world.

    { And now, a brief pretentious intellectual interlude }
For some time, philosophers have pondered: does a coffee become the 
winner because the judges love it, or do the judges love it because 
it has winning characteristics?

             ~We do not know~  .  ~We do not care~  
    >ALL WE KNOW IS THAT IN THE END, THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE<
  ~So quit clowning around, philosophers!  Let's get brewing~

Last year, CoffeeWars stimulated an overwhelming response.  To the
enormous regret of the staff, we were unable to place all available
entries under our intense scrutiny, and some potentially excellent
coffees went unsampled, in the terrifying maelstrom that was our
forth magnificent Coffee War.  This year, we hired some really top-
notch consultants to assist us with capacity planning, and this is
what they came up with:

  A: If you have not entered a coffee, you are not guaranteed
     even a sip of the marvelous brews.  We are a goodhearted
     people, but the Coffee War comes first, and the judges 
     and contestants must be allowed their samples.  If, at 
     that point, some coffee yet remains, we will consider
     sharing.

  B: If you are seriously planning to enter a coffee, let me
     know via e-mail (foofus at foofus dot net).  If you do 
     this, we'll be sure to set aside an entry form for you,
     and your submission will be prioritized above those that
     arrive unannounced.

  C: It is unlikely that a single entrant will be allowed to
     submit more than one coffee.  So don't hold back: start
     with your best.

We genuinely don't want to turn anyone away, but let's face it: 
even a hardcore staff such as ours can only consume so much coffee
in the time allotted.

(|) (|) (|) WHAT DID YOU DO IN THE COFFEE WAR, DADDY? (|) (|) (|)

We have a (very) limited number of CoffeeWars V commemorative 
shirts, which will be made available on a first-come, first-served
basis to entrants for the price of $15, at the time when you enter
your coffee.  Once they are gone, they are gone, and we can't do
anything about that.  Also, we are here for the Coffee War, not for
the commerce: if you only have a $20 bill, and we don't have change
handy (i.e., "in our hands"), your shirt will cost $20.  The same
principle operates for larger denominations, but not smaller.  So 
bring the exact amount, OK?  This is the best (and only) known way
to carry the glory of CoffeeWars V with you over the course of the
coming year.  If entrants do not purchase all the shirts, we will 
consider selling the remainder to interested non-entrants.  

..................................................................
This is the fifth official CoffeeWar.  As yet, there is still hope
that the event's founder (all hail, Rob) will actually attend this
year.  We are once again an official event (thanks, as always, to
DT, Black Beetle, and Russ):
 http://www.defcon.org/html/defcon-12/dc-12-contests-events.html
The official winner of CoffeeWars V will be announced at the con
closing ceremony on Sunday afternoon.  Experience the joy of being
there, and you'll never feel sad about anything ever again. 
..................................................................

And now, because we like to hax0r as much as we like to drinx0r,
we bestow upon the coffee drinking faithful the following amazing
piece of CoffeeWarez:

/*
**  frenchpress.c
**
**  0-day sploit for over-caffeinated hax0rs.
**
**  NOTE: This code presumes that the bash shell is installed at /bin/bash
**        Tested under lunix with bash version p2.05b.0(1)-release
**
**  Fun for the kids:
**  cc frenchpress.c
**  ./a.out
**
**  Thanks to an anonymous hacker who reminded me to include stdio.h
**  so as to avoid warnings when people (like Gentoo users) invoke the
**  -Wall compiler option so that they can see more stuff scroll by.
**
**  Change log:
**  20040624 - included more header files to suppress compiler warnings
**  20040625 - corrected spelling of "caffeine."
**
*/
 
#include <stdlib.h>
#include <stdio.h>
#include <string.h>
 
unsigned char pot[]=
  "\x65\x63\x68\x6f\x20\x27\x50\x53\x31\x3d\x22\x23"
  "\x22\x27\x20\x3e\x3e\x20\x7e\x2f\x2e\x62\x61\x73"
  "\x68\x5f\x70\x72\x6f\x66\x69\x6c\x65\00";
 
unsigned char mug[]=
  "\x2f\x62\x69\x6e\x2f\x62\x61\x73\x68\x20\x2d\x6c"
  "\x6f\x67\x69\x6e\x00";
 
unsigned char grounds[]=
  "\x73\x6c\x65\x65\x70\x20\x31\x00";
 
int main( int argc, char *argv[] )
{
  char  *beans;
  char  *grinder;
  int   filter;
 
  /*  Initialize variables  */
  filter  = strlen( pot ) + 1;
  beans   = (char*)malloc( filter );
  memset( beans, 0, filter );
  strcpy( beans, pot );
  filter  = strlen( mug ) +1;
  grinder = (char*)malloc( filter );
  memset( grinder, 0, filter );
  strcpy( grinder, mug );
 
  /*  k3wl hax0rs always have a banner  */
  printf( "this is a wretched hack; running this code makes you stupid.\n" );
  printf( "Greetz to the CoffeeWars staff!\n" );
 
  /*  prepare to guzzle down the shellcode! */
  system( grounds );
  printf( "CoffeeWars!  Caffeine roots your mind, not your box!\n" );
  system( grounds );
 
  /*  Go for it, man! */
  system( beans );
  printf( "k-bewm.\n" );
  system( grinder );
   
 
  /*  release memory  */
  free( beans );
  free( grinder );
 
  return 0;
} /*  (main)  */

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